TASM Lab - Funny, naughty lyric bits

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TASM Lab Lyric Bank

v1. 10/15/99 , v3. 1/24/00
v2. 1/12/00
, v4. 2/22/00
v5. 3/10/00 , v5. 3/27/00

v6. 4/21/00
v7. 6/14/00
v8. 7/18/00
v9. 12/02/00
v10. 4/14/01
v11. 11/30/01
v12. 3/20/02
v13. 12/23/02, v14. 07/06/03, v15. 10/19/03, v16. 04/04/04

Lyric bank

Every so often I come across or invent a couple of words that I think I may be able to use in a song later. Since I write so infrequently, I USED TO record these little pokemons in my Wizard (an electronic personal organizer my old boss Harris gave me, a sure sign of a business geek)(geek +, I have now migrated over to a Handspring, which is Palm Pilot copy after the Wizard ate dust)(since I went on my own in 04, I don't really track anything anymore, now in laate 2005 I forget most of the good thoughts I have). Some are from books, some are from friends, and most I made up my damn self.

This is the list in its entirety. Some of these phrases have been turned into songs and lyrics, others are still waiting for thier day in the sun. Many won't make sense, and many more will barely seem interesting. They are listed from newest (a few days old) to the oldest (some are as old as 1995).

  • the ghost hollerred "I'll fuck your soul in hell"
  • Eating apples through a sock
  • Vision politics
  • When Stupid became glamorous
  • I feel a little heartache everytime the cell phone chirps
  • Bully Teardrop a Hard On Fantastic
  • Weaponized Heartache
  • Me eat clouds by cuntface railroad
  • How to stuff a wild bikini
  • Heroin Mule
  • Fucksworth Dynamo
  • The romantic image of me.
  • Hot pants and pumps
  • Stouffers, Beam, and a big fucking broken heart
  • Optimism must pay off now and again to be taken seriously (so does pessimism)
  • The new secret: learning to arrive and travel simutaneously. (this might be the only way to succeed. Its "stop and smell the roses" or "enjoy the ride", but much more important and central.)
  • The Thousanth Doorjamb
  • One key point of the SALARY is to keep employees disinterested in their personal gain for most work decisions.
  • The plume of brilliance
  • In the context of a doctor's office, your favorite things sound like bad ideas
  • The boy whose heart fell out
  • Never create false dependencies
  • People can plainspeak through any peice of rubbish with the same skill as a technical lexiconer
  • Blood like thud
  • On Christ: if his policy and teaching's are the true message, then the special attributes of his birth, crucifixion, resurrection, and magical deeds are completely irrelevent - including his 'son of god' status. Without these he's a second rate Ghandi, or even cocktail party philosopher. (why is this? you can't go to church and not worship a deity)
  • 30 Pack lullabye (banks)
  • The unfortunate bastard and the meticulous bitch
  • Assembling people in an office is not a way to make a company
  • Crack for Fat People
  • Kmart DaVinci
  • 101 things you can shove up your ass
  • Friends always knock with their feet (because their arms are full of gifts)
  • No one cares if you fail
  • The country life lacks vice, technology, sex and commerce - making it thoroughly unlivable
  • Am I having fun? Am I drinking or fucking?
  • Christians for carwrecks
  • Whores for technology
  • Its OK for them to have their medicine, I just want to to be able to say in a condescending way "here's your medicine you greedy lazy losers"
  • Villiany for losers
  • Douchebags for Donna
  • A talking trash can!
  • Old white men are responsible for the serious woes of the world, but they also brought us up from the wild where we would be bringing handfuls of poisonous berries back to our lean-tos.
  • The nobility of the impoverished
  • Even roaches have babies (Chris Rock) - nor is there skill in eating a steak or drinking cognac, but nonetheless, these are the profundities of life.
  • Ashton Fuel and The Attack Dogs of Compassion
  • (She's so old) her e-mails are made of wood
  • Athieism is no reason to spoil the holidays
  • There is tyrrany in all employment.
  • Till's hammer: forego all structural subtleties when bludgeoning someone over the head
  • You can smell the dink on him
  • A career of bill paying
  • The soused romantics
  • Did you make breakfast in your underpants?
  • Assholes like me would make their own pants if they knew how to sew
  • The core of changement management, organizational development, teamwork theory and everything else in this space is to remove everything childish and thoughtless from human behavior and be left with reason and productivity.
  • No industry is more complex than the sum idiocy of all the jackasses who work in it.
  • That ole' tired cunt, those boring boring old fags
  • May grief by your feast, and dread make your bed
  • The mouthwash sundays
  • Jackass penguins
  • The pragmatic optimist
  • The Passionate reasonist
  • A man's character is defined by his preferences, and the breadth of things he has known preferences for
  • With the exceptions of love and drunkeness, happiness is a direct result of either production, consumption (or both)
  • Bismuth kisses (pepto kisses)
  • Rumble!
  • I'd rather sit in my castle and have my monkey butlers bring me crack sandwiches.
  • The attack dogs of human kindness
  • My economy
  • Man's constant battle with his stomach
  • Eliminating false dependencies
  • He's universally incompentent in all the activities he ignores
  • Helltown Nemisis
  • Art for monkey
  • a new venue for your happenis
  • fuck yea america.
  • something sad
  • blue ruin
  • growing dark spaces
  • stop smell the flowers vs. Lying in the flowers and getting up evere so often to do something
  • eat big fuck
  • girls being bothered with the creation of the universe when choosing a TV show is a challenge.
  • the dump in bimsfield
  • hand me down underpants
  • means of bill paying
  • Army of children
  • March came in like a jerk
  • The Great Dying
  • Panthalasas the super-ocean, pangea the super-continent
  • Americanism and the Americanist
  • the hungry maw of the starving
  • Men of appetites
  • the man who started to tell the truth
  • Two hours closer to death
  • The death of Nimrod
  • the hyper obsession of the super ghost
  • Wave goodbye, fucking drive
  • Fixture of Evil
  • (to believe you is to beleive) No one likes video games, watching television is for idiots, and McDonalds makes shitty food
  • When they develop a deragatory word for breathing, I'll be that too
  • Fate stepped out of her well
  • The boy who was a genius and didn't care
  • A wardrobe of little murders
  • Circus Mook
  • The sight of color
  • Country before country was cool
  • I am the architect
  • My real-life wife
  • the man with bombs for shoes
  • The Christmas wife
  • Man in nature is wholesale death
  • Surgeon at the dairymart
  • Corvette City
  • Ashton fuel
  • Holiday funbags
  • The dude who doesn't dance
  • Asthma dance party
  • Five finger bonus
  • Jeff the poop
  • Kept me working and stole my booze
  • The relentless p[ersuit of destruction
  • How to fight a girl
  • The man who sidestepped his fortune
  • Shadows draped on the mountain
  • Anger served with love
  • Yankee jawbox
  • Travel mug till
  • Hot blood pancake
  • You know you? Well go fuck it.
  • Hot beer katillion
  • Buttfuck emoticon
  • Profoundly bored
  • Damn the tropopause, the mesopause
  • Lost in the parking lot
  • How to drive drunk
  • The don't run school buses at midnight, do they?
  • He visits smartsville sometime, just visits.
  • All the bad decisions
  • The sad and useless 19 year old
  • Me the adult
  • The Nonmnemonic
  • More making out with the HD
  • Million dollar failure
  • This long and embarrassing life
  • Angry drunken doctor
  • At the end of a life of work, death remains
  • Crimes of the dancefloor make-out artist
  • Craig the guesser
  • Cool water for drinking
  • The fragile hinge by which our scheme sways
  • Penis reason
  • Jaw of the jackass
  • Pelvis of the helmut
  • Splash index
  • The horny piano teacher
  • Lucky pierre
  • The human rule
  • The man of the forest
  • The ghost who fell in love
  • Sadness three ways
  • We young and handsome gentlemen
  • Success in politcs and bowling (how to be large, white and strong)
  • Lord of the sweater vest
  • Diarhetic lovesong
  • Possessed by the girl in the window
  • Interesting like a traffic jam
  • Things have never been better, I just wish they'd get better sometime (quoted from Norm from cheers)
  • Manifest destiny
  • I hope this fucking actuarian dies before I do
  • The remaindermen
  • My lover the assassin
  • Heroes of the intolerable daydream
  • Strategic like a heart attack
  • Rockmen to the faraway nowhere
  • Sudden inexplicable death
  • Jackrabbit and the method of murder
  • So boldly clever (not) to discover god doesn't exists
  • No one needs to understand the smarts behind a blowjob to understand its value
  • Wears her hardship like a medal
  • Dress her like a clown, put antlers on her head, put lipstick on her butt and pretend she's Patsy Cline eating corn dogs at the grand ole opry
  • Toil - Persevere
  • I fucked my computer (and my computer liked it)
  • How to be an adult
  • The hosipital in the ocean
  • Hell for leather
  • Teenage sex is far from wicked, but only if you are teenaged too
  • The luxury of depression
  • Library time!
  • Big weepy memory
  • Imcompetence can be compensated with hard work, long timeframes, and aggressive, unapologetic engery
  • Decent humor is typically cruel
  • Mr. Gates may very well be our greatest public servant, and the most heroic figure of our age
  • The battle against evil
  • Cheap is for losers
  • ...Like animals, but legal to fuck
  • Men of ability don't have needs, just desire
  • Clown college
  • Spackle and caulk
  • Stupid yesterday
  • Please don't bury me on snake island. Its loud, and lonely, and for heaven sakes, there might be snakes!
  • Our drunk drunk drunk secretary
  • Generic Retard Hat
  • Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle
  • Suzy Poptartits
  • ...and a shiny vaginy!
  • My job is trying to consume me
  • The unindicted co-ejaculator theory
  • Drawing the girl around the pussy
  • The sidewalks littered with dead birds
  • Everything that didn't want to fly, hung
  • Trapped in a circle of vaginas
  • The little boy who was hit by lightning while playing baseball when it wasn't even raining
  • Hudson Debacle
  • Sympathy for the $50 million plus set
  • We plied the girls with music, until thier skirts hit the floor
  • (on why we drink) They're dumb, if you gave them sticks they would beat themselves to death
  • Kept in the little teepee between her legs
  • Big dumb idea
  • The Day my face turned inside-out
  • I can't hear the music beyond the notes
  • Minorities are so humourless towards bigotry
  • Unhappiness is the hallmark of virture
  • The obscenity of her talent
  • Man is not descended from monkeys, he is a monkey
  • One hundred billion dollars
  • Gin goblin
  • Business is merely the pedestrian activity of procuring food and shelter, whoever introduced the notion that it is more exciting than hunting, or more satisfying than gardening, must surely have had shit for brains
  • Artist don't deserve money
  • The splendid air
  • The precision of stupidity
  • I'm happy when its cold
  • Until its done, working to the point of exhaustion
  • The abominalbe snowman
  • The Incredible Petosky stones
  • The precoscious three
  • Rows and rows of girls, typing away
  • Desire under the elms
  • The rubber industry loves the rubber industry
  • The end of inimportance
  • My liver, my spleen, and the big green alcohol machine
  • Speaking in absolute terms typically makes people seem stupid
  • A universe of disappointments
  • As intellectually challenging as lying to children
  • School isn't supposed to teach kids anything, its just to shake the idiot out of them
  • Sick days are for women, we gave the men "death and dismemberment" insurance
  • My age of disenchantment
  • poob (combination of "poo" and "boob")
  • The moment I emotionally disengaged
  • I keep a gun in the bun of the hair of my bitch
  • Erectus
  • Two little sisters
  • God reaches into her underwear and rips out her pussy and says "I've got your pussy! Brrrrrrr!"
  • The constant activity of shortening my life
  • Since I work for you, I guess you work for me
  • Why are you so stupid
  • You can buy my approval
  • The inbred super-polack
  • Rules and exceptions
  • The muddy buddies (Muddy Buddy and the bloddy undies)
  • Daydreams in my underpants
  • Vodka sleep
  • All of my ambition
  • Veronka's Bloody undies
  • Model of my affection
  • Fuck Animal
  • The goddess fabric
  • She wakes up tired
  • 100 percent of people die
  • Not for all the pussy in Worcester
  • The impossible maiden
  • Your heart will pound pound pound
  • Penisgeek chrestomathy
  • Bucket of tits
  • The Whole goddamn world
  • Custodians of the sacred heritage
  • Truth, Love, and Beauty
  • The Sloppy Trencherman
  • The dandy highwayman
  • the Price of money
  • Four sausage solute to happiness
  • Fuck you
  • Daddy drinks because you cry
  • Margie was so bad that her mother stopped loving her
  • America's Lear
  • Everybody's drunk on Christmas Eve except for your uncle Steve (because he's a recovering alcoholic)
  • Christmas is like slowly dying when nobody loves you
  • Merry Christmas, Motherfucker
  • Leverage your asshole
  • Planet earth ejector seat
  • New Year's Montreal
  • The Essential Cubicle Nosepicker
  • Some people like the entire organ, but I'm happy with just a good pianist
  • My hand itches when I can't sleep at night
  • Some black nigger ruttin' my Mayella.
  • Fantasy rapist
  • She made a lane cake so full of shinny it made me tight
  • Functions of a woman
  • Ain't no thing as a nigger snowman
  • Swimming with the terds
  • Empathy for Columbus
  • How to Kill, shit and fuck
  • All my ugly girlfriends
  • Nutrition is a waste of food
  • Blowwing the juice trumpet
  • Introduction to motion
  • Something's fucked about Meeta
  • Do not underestimate our ability to manipulate a situation
  • Pornorhea
  • Black cloud over Cambridge
  • The King of Diareah
  • Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach hi to fish, and someone may expect him to go fishing all the fucking time
  • Funky vagino
  • Teenage pussy crew (sub- Chinese Pussy Squad)
  • Mom's favorite bum
  • Agregate of Horror (e.g., ball of bees)
  • Is space a luxary or an impediment
  • The grain of diety in woman
  • A mile means nothing, provided you can walk
  • Chickens and pigs
  • You can still rock in America
  • Discouraging word
  • Drawer of knives
  • Murderman Oddessey
  • God Bless the Sundress
  • Bigger than atmospheric pressure...
  • Skunk works
  • The automatic cone company
  • She aggregates the fantasy and the profane
  • Disenchanted, demystified and still delusional
  • The moment you stop drinking is the moment you start hanging over
  • I don't want to go to work today
  • Failure for Dummies
  • He smelled one bath away from an assfucking
  • If you make me drink whiskey again...
  • Pepsi whore
  • Irvert the pervert
  • The funk to druck
  • Proof of Gravity
  • Gravity is most noticeable when apples fall from trees
  • Maybelynne please, I'm to drunk to type
  • Love for the living, life for the lying, lies for the loving
  • Push it through the elevator
  • The ugliest man alive
  • Beautiful like me
  • Oh shit, I pissed on the floor again
  • A shoe full of baby shit, the asprins spilled on the floor
  • All that crazy shit at your mother's house
  • How to kick ass and be god
  • I wish I was a firetruck
  • The guy who cared about it died
  • She made a metaphor to explain to the drunks why it was time to leave
  • The long scary porno movie of my dreams
  • The elephants came marching in all drunk as fuck
  • Shaking the pearl jam from the sheets
  • Appetite for destruction
  • Squat, crunch and squeeze




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